


This Is The Road To Ruin

by polychromeboxes



Category: EXO (Band), f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drug Use, F/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 04:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1141361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polychromeboxes/pseuds/polychromeboxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of two troubled souls as they finally find their way out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is The Road To Ruin

“I’m getting out of here,” Chanyeol whispers, his breath coming out as a white puff of smoke. “Just you wait Jinri.”

My hands curl into fists as I mull over what he said. Panic slowly rise up my throat as I think about being left behind. He looks determined as he said those words and I know that I am in position to stop him. So I keep my feelings to myself as I smile at him.

“Okay.”

_Please don’t leave me behind._

_Take me with you_

_Please._

He grins at me as he ruffles my hair and I bite my lips to stop the sob that is forcing its way out of my mouth. His eyes are bright as he looks up at the sky, one hand outstretched as if he’s trying to reach for the clouds. He looks beautiful as the snow falls down around him. Chanyeol’s only eighteen, but he already has his life planned.

Chanyeol leaves to study music. There are no letters. No emails. No phone calls. No communication.

 

 

He comes back two years later with a broken dream and a broken soul.

 

 

 

 

 

  

“I’m getting out of here,” Chanyeol says through gritted teeth as he glares at his girlfriend who is sitting at the bar across the room. Her hands are placed on top of the thigh of the man seated next to her and she is laughing at everything he says. Chanyeol finishes the remainder of his vodka as her giggles reach us.

He stands up and takes my hand, pulling me out of the club. The night is dark and cold but it is not the reason why I shiver. Chanyeol reaches inside his pockets and pulls out a box of cigarettes. He lights one and puts it between his lips, sucking in a deep breath. He breathes out and the smoke makes me cough.

“I’m getting out of here,” Chanyeol says again, his eyes looking at the starless sky. “Just you wait.”

There are dark circles under his eyes and his skin looks a bit ashen, but he’s still the most beautiful man for me. I lean in next to him and rest my head on his shoulder. His words are a puzzle but I am a lovesick child who will agree to everything he says.

“Okay.”

_Please don’t leave me again._

_Just take me with you._

_Please._

Chanyeol disappears the next day and I am left to cry inside my room.

 

 

He comes back two months later with packets of white sin on his hand and eyes full of manic happiness. _I found it,_ he says to me.

 

 

 

 

 

  

“I’m getting out of here,” Chanyeol whispers. The two of us are a mess of tangled limbs and sweaty skin in the middle of my living room. It has been five years since we first met. Funny how some relationships turn from friends into fuck buddies. Our clothes are scattered all over the room and there are bottles of alcohol forgotten on the table. Chanyeol has his face buried in my neck and I can feel his tears as they drip on my skin, warm and wet.

I think about all the nights I wake up to him screaming and shivering in his sleep. I threw away all of his white pills but they keep coming back. Chanyeol screams like a madman at me when they are gone. He is getting worse.

He leans back and I can see his face, red puffy eyes from crying and messy hair. Chanyeol clutches at his chest, where his heart is. I place my hand on his cheek, wiping away the tears

“You are the only good thing that has ever happened to me,” Chanyeol says, voice cracking. “My life is so fucked up. You know that right?”

His lips are set on a grin, small and defeated as if he has already given up. There is a nagging pull that I can’t explain and it makes me scared. Different thoughts run through my head, all of them not pretty. Chanyeol kisses my forehead and sighs, his breath smells like his favourite menthol cigarette.

“But I am getting out of here.” Chanyeol murmurs against my skin. “I swear it.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. The nagging pull is still there, so I say the only response I can give him.

“Okay.”

_Please don’t do something stupid._

_Tell me how I can help._

_Please._

Chanyeol closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep.

 

 

He wakes up the next morning and kisses every part of my skin that he could reach. His eyes are bright and for a moment my fears disappears.

 

 

 

 

 

  

The room is brimming with people dressed in black. They are all talking about how a tragedy the accident is and how painful it is to see it happen. They try to include me in their conversation but I _accidentally_ snapped at one of them so they finally decide to leave me alone.

I stand at the front of the room as I look at his photo and then at Chanyeol. There are white flowers surrounding his photograph and I smile because they are beautiful just like him.

The Chanyeol in the photo is the eighteen years old Chanyeol that I fell for. His smile is bright and infectious. There is a spring in each of his step as if he’s always happy. I love him.

The Chanyeol in the casket is the twenty years old Chanyeol that came back two years later. The stars fell deaf to his music so he turned to serenading bottles of vodka instead. I love him still.

I reach out to touch his face as he lay there. His skin is smooth and I could just pretend that it is still warm and that he is just sleeping. A single tear escapes from my eye and I quickly wipe it away.

“Looks like you finally got out.” I chuckle. “We both waited so long.”

_It’s your turn to wait._

_I’ll see you there._

_Promise._

“Okay.” I exhale. I pat his cheek one last time before turning around and leaving the room.

 

 

 

The light is red but the road is empty and I stand on the side with my head hanging low. Slowly, I hear a sound coming closer and closer. The corners of my lips curve up into a smile.

“Okay.”

 

The world turns into white as I take one step forward.

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by one of inkskinned's (from tumblr) poem, check it out http://inkskinned.tumblr.com/post/72017501396/he-has-big-dreams-but-a-small-heart


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